Relationship problems.need help?

as a child i was raped repeatidly on a daily basis by my father and 2 uncles.somtimes 5 or 6 times a day.before i was allowed to eat anything,even just 1 chip.i was raped.all of this went on from the time i was 4 til i was 17.he would do the nastiest things to me also.he had a weird thing that he liked to do called "hide the ham"he would put it in me and make me crawl around the house while hes behind me looking for the ham.i would have to say things to please him and if i didnt he would hit me in the back with a paddle. when i was 12 he decided to build an underground chamber in the backyard where i was locked in until i was 17.i was constantly raped and beaten every day.barely fed anything.when i was found by the cops when i was 17 i weighed 74 pounds.i think that is the reason i spilled spaghetti sauce on my boyfriends shirt and he broke up with me.it was very hard the first few months when i was locked down in the cell having grusome sex with my uncles and dad for fun.i am very sad not having a boyfriend